The truth is, I think about you often. There are many moments when hearing voice is all I need to calm my day. I’m simple, my love language is simple, and loving you, to me, is just that - simple. The ease of the love I dream of us sharing comprises two people enjoying the freedom of being themselves.
My fear was that my past would hinder me from loving you. I wasn’t sure how whole I really was. Were my past insecurities going to show up this time? Would I be unable to trust you? Because the truth is, I haven’t trusted anyone in a while.
My first introduction to pain was one that made me question “Lord, haven’t I been through enough.” So “why me”? And then I heard the Lord say, “Why Not You”? You see I can recall being the only little girl at prayer service in my grandparents house listening to the old folks sing hymnals and pray. I can remember my grandfather praying and calling God “a healer, a mind regulator, and a way out of no way” and he would start his prayer off with so much conviction as if he truly had seen God’s hand move just in this way.
The moment I heard God say “You have to break this cycle and trust me to help you”, I did not worry about my checking account, my salary, or my future because the truth was I was so tired and bitter living in my present moment, I became desperate for God. Whatever He desired for me to let go, I knew I had to do just that because I was hollow inside. My need for peace was greater than my desire for Facebook/ Instagram likes to help validate my brokenness.👩🏽💻
I used to believe that my silence would save us, but instead it was the very thing that destroyed us, our plans, and all that we had built.Silence is the number one killer in all areas of life; whether it be your health, your finances, or even a relationship. The inability to acknowledge and communicate about your pain will always prolong the healing process and in some cases kill the vision.